During a recent interview, Bristol Palin said that “abstinence is not realistic.”
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eixcsj7FI6I
As a mom of a 17 year old daughter, I have tried to teach her that abstinence and emotional purity before marriage is God’s best for her life. Is it an easy choice in our society? No. Bristol stated that “it’s more and more accepted now.” From my standpoint, it’s been accepted for the past 30 years since I was a teenager and probably for longer than that.
Faith does play an important role in our convictions. But I think that public schools should teach abstinence as well because no birth control method is foolproof. Barrier methods can fail. Hormonal methods can’t protect against STDs and may have unwanted side effects. And then there is the emotional baggage that occurs when sexual relations are entered into outside of a lasting commitment.
Sarah Palin stepped into another segment of the interview and said that when life does happen in spite of our ideals, we need to deal with it and go on with it. When an unplanned pregnancy occurs, families and faith communities need to come alongside these young girls and support them.
What do you think?
I truly and honestly don’t understand why teens can’t find other things to do than to have sex. I guess I’m just very naive.
I think it has become more accepted – or expected – but we also live in a highly sexualized society which pushes the limits more and more. Everybody’s showing skin on tv and a movie without sex is abnormal these days. I don’t feel comfortable bringing my 12 yo to a PG13 movie because the language and nude scenes are not that far away from a rated R movie.
Parents and schools need to step up and take serious action by connecting with these kids and really teaching them every consequence of having sex at a young age. Lay it ALL out on the line – including contraception, the dangers of STDs, and teen pregnancy.
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Education and self-esteem are two big variables related to teen sex, i believe. If kids are educated about sex and it’s consequences, and are comfortable with the subject, they too can make informed decisions.
Kids who are actively engaged in their future, who have positive self-esteem are also more likely to look at the long-term consequences of sex (whether it be an STD or an unwanted pregnancy).
Sex is, however, a part of life. And although I do agree it can be challenging raising children with its prevalence in everyday life, I view these occurrences as opportunities to educate. As kids grow-up they will be faced with sex, swearing and violence; as parents we cannot always be there to shelter them, we need to make sure they have the knowledge they need to behave/proceed/live in the best way they can.
And I also believe, that when a teen makes a decision that results in a pregnancy, we as adults need to be there to support them and teach them how to either be a parent, or make a decision to give their child a home through adoption (or whatever decision they make).
Overall, knowledge is power–education and active discussion are two of the best ways to curb teen pregnancy.
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Sex should be treated like religion in schools. There should be NO input by the schools about it. They just mess things up. For us parents who teach our children Godly values, it causes huge fissures in our families as well. Parents need to step up and make sure they do educate their children and yes, teach them it’s God’s gift to the married couple. Some do, some don’t.
However, as far as the pregnant teen, yes we need to support the couple, and keep them accountable. There are consequences for doing ‘adult’ activities. It’s a reality check for them. Both teen parents should step up to the plate and take care of the child, or adopt it out, if they cannot take care of the baby.
However, they should not skate off of the well meaning friends and family and end up having an easier time than the young couple who got married and had children early, and are struggling. That is what I see a lot here in the desert southwest. It makes me sad to see that the kids who ‘did it right’ are being ‘punished’ while the family of the teen parents are raising their child and they are still ‘playing house’.
I agree with all three of you with this.
Thanks for bringing the subject up.
Abstinence not realistic? Baloney. It was reality for me until I got married, and also for many of my friends. That’s because we were taught that sex was a gift for married couples to share. We also were a whole lot smarter than Bill Clinton and knew that sex was more than intercourse.
I don’t know if it’s realistic outside of good parental training and the teen’s choice based on their own faith to wait for marriage.
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Bristol Palin is still a child. Why would I expect her to say any different when she was unable to maintain her own abstinence? She would admit to failure on a national stage, I don’t know if I am humble enough to do that!
Abstinence was important to me as a teen. My parents made it very clear to me there were serious consequences if I showed up pregnant . I would not be helped, I would have to do it on my own, since I decided to have sex on my own. I would be kicked out of the house, have to support myself and the baby on my own, etc. Sound harsh? It was. Did any of my parents children end up pregnant out of marriage? Nope. I don’t always recommend my parents tactics ;0), but I do recommend this one. They painted such a hard future that no one wanted to risk it. I had many friends who got pregnant, and they didn’t have the close relationship I had with my parents, nor have conversations about consequences (taking drugs, getting bad grades, breaking laws, etc.) If you don’t want your daughter to give her heart away, or anything else for that matter, before she’s ready, make sure you have a close relationship with her (start early!), and let her know consequences before she’s in the situation!
I agree with Marya.
I was the same age as Bristol when I had my first one. I know how hard it can be and also how rewarding. I know that teens have been sexually active for longer than most people want to admit, my ex mother in law is 65 and has a sister that is older than her (her mother was a teen when she had her). I don’t understand why people keep asking “do you know how to raise a child?”. Even if you have childhood development under your belt, no one is prepared – there are no classes for parenting as it is a hands on learning experience. I think she is going to be a good mother, she seems to have her head on straight and has a great support group with her family, I think that makes all the difference.
I agree with Mera, Bristol Palin is still a child and her view of abstinence is apparently based on her own failure. Abstinence is and was very realistic to me until I got married at the age of 24.
What are these young people doing having sex at a time when they should be focussed on their education and be involved in wholesome activites?
While we live in a sex age I am confident that young people with the help of God and their parents can successfully cultivate the discipline necessary to remain pure until marriage. This is what God intended.
The notion that many give that abstainence is unattainable is simply false.
The consequences of pre-marital sex and teen pregnancy are too serious to be ignored. These consequences goes beyond STDs.