Teaching Your Tween To Avoid Gossip And Teasing

July 21, 2007

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Being an “almost” teenager is a difficult state of being. Their social life is beginning to develop and they are defining who they are. During this time, encourage them to choose their friends wisely.

Peer pressure is a reality for your tween. As kids struggle to figure out who they really are, they will always encounter someone who feels that they should follow their lead. Where they are leading your tween may not be a good place.

Kids speak their minds without reserve. Often, the result can be injury to another child’s self-esteem. As long as they are not affected by their own comments, they are unsympathetic.

Breaking this type of thought process is the key to helping your tween avoid the trap of gossiping and teasing others. Explaining to your tween that teasing is hurtful is a start. The reason behind teasing is important. Most people tease others because of jealousy, envy, peer pressure, or meanness. In an effort to feel better about your jealousy, you make fun of the item that another has that you want.

Some kids tease or gossip about others because they don’t want to be the topic of the conversation. It is a pre-emptive strike. Choosing friends that engage in this type of activity carries the threat that someday your child will be the victim.

How should your tweens handle these situations? Teaching them to choose friends with care will help. A friend will not join in when others tease your child. A good friend will also tell your child if they are getting involved in these destructive behaviors. Friends keep each other accountable.

Keep the lines of communication open in your home. Tweens may have questions about how to handle a situation in their social life. They may also want to confess that they were not so nice to someone and seek advice on making amends.

Condemning children for mistakes in judgment is never helpful. They already feel bad enough about what they have done. Reassure them that you will do what you can to help them.

Preparing your tween for the possibility that they will not be forgiven by the person they hurt is prudent. Because we want things to work out fine does not guarantee that they will. As long as your child has done their part to repair the relationship, this is all they can do. Chalk it up to a lesson learned.

Teasing and gossiping is no fun for the victim. It is also no fun if your tween is being pressured to do it. Make use of every opportunity to encourage your child to stand up for him or herself and refuse to hurt another.

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Posted by admin | Filed Under Parenting 

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