Quite a topic, huh? I have 2 teenage sons. I have built a relationship with them that I hope will serve us all well as they being to enter the terrifying (to a mom) world of sexuality. Here are some things that have worked for me.
Start When They Are Young
We didn’t call my boys “parts” wee-wee’s or pee-pee’s. The were always penis’ and they knew when the asked that women had inside parts called a vagina. Now I know that some of you are cringing just thinking about this, but it does help for them not to be afraid of these words.
When it came to “how they got out of my belly” that was an easy one for me personally. I just had to show them my c-section scar. But, I did tell them that usually the baby came out of the mommy’s vagina.
In the fifth grade they both got a special session at school, that I attended with them, outlining their bodies and what would be happening to them during puberty. I am divorced from their father & he was having no part of talking to them about sex. It would have been easier if he could have had “the talk” with them, but since that never happened, I talked to them about all the things that would and could be happening. I gave them each the sex talk, myself. This was, at times, hugely embarassing for me & them, but someone had to do it.
The talk about sex and the diseases that could be associated with sex has been an ongoing conversation in my household. They know that they can talk to me about anything, but I will say that my oldest son is more comfortable with this than my youngest son is.
I Choose Not To Bury My Head In The Sand
We are Christians and I have encouraged my boys to wait to have sex. But I will not bury my head in the sand and pretend that nothing is going to happen until their wedding nights.
Honestly, at times I know more about what’s happening with my 17 year-old than I care to know. But, I would rather hear what he has to say, than hear nothing and leave him out there on his own. I’m not bragging, but he is very handsome & has girls wanting to go out with him at all times. Now he has a steady girlfriend and I have sat down and talked to both of them about everything that can happen if they choose to engage in sexual activity.
It’s a conversation that uncomfortable for all of us, but it’s a dialog that I feel like I must keep going. I’d rather go through those uncomfortable times then to have my son come home to tell me of a surprise pregnancy.
Just Do Your Best To Be Open
Obviously every parent will handle this subject in whatever way they see fit, but I can say that being open and honest will go a long way towards mutual trust.
photo credit: db*photography
This is not a topic I like to talk about. I guess I am not ready to deal with it. My oldest is a teenager and we have already had a talk. He is to into xbox right now and his friends to be interested in a girl friend. Thankfully.
Great post. I agree start young talking and don't stop. I am not afraid to talk about sex with my boys and answer questions. I want them to know they can ask me questions and I won't be mortified.
Great post! My girls are 8 & 5 and I know that my turn for the discussion is just around the corner…. ugh… thanks for the straight talk. I appreciated it & I am sure your boys do as well.
I agree with you – open communication is key!
I agree it's important to build that trust and keep the lines of communication open. I have hesitated with my 3 yo teaching her all the right words because she's smart and says exactly what she's thinking about to whomever happens to be around. I try to explain privacy and modesty but she blurts things out anyway. So we use general terms instead of specifics for now.
Great info Pam and will definitely keep these things in mind as my son grows (he's 2). We call his boy part by its correct name. I think it will just make things easier down the line. Thanks for the info!
Great info Pam and will definitely keep these things in mind as my son grows (he's 2). We call his boy part by its correct name. I think it will just make things easier down the line. Thanks for the info!