This is Part 2 of a series by guest blogger, Deb Gallardo from The Story Ideas Virtuoso.
Imagine for a moment that a lyrical melody, frequently heard in cartoons to indicate a placid morning, is playing sweetly in the background. A soft-focus lens is trained on the household of a family that has decided to homeschool their two sons.
Dad brings in a steaming mug of coffee for Mom before he leaves for work in the pre-dawn hours. Mom kisses him her thanks, flips on the coffee mug warmer on her nightstand and rolls over for another hour or so of sleep. Both boys are sleeping peacefully. Dad has walked the dog and all is well.
Sometime later, Mom awakens refreshed, stretches luxuriously, sits up in bed and sips her coffee, looking around in blissful satisfaction. Life is good.
She takes a leisurely shower, enjoying this sensual, almost ritual cleansing as the water washes over her, sending the last traces of fatigue down the drain. Now ready for the day, she heads to her computer, with a bagel and more coffee, where she methodically works through her writer’s to-do list.
Her younger son comes in to greet her with a slightly groggy hug before heading to the kitchen to get himself some cereal and juice. He then takes the dog outside for stick-throwing — exercise for them both.
Son number one’s alarm goes off in the distance and Mom’s calendar alarm goes off five minutes later, when she goes in to “encourage” her older son to get up. He looks at her as she calls his name, sighs, sits up, and gives her a very sleepy hug. With a half-hearted grumble he heads off to the shower to continue the awakening process.
By the time her older son has eaten breakfast, son number two is already at work on his studies. Both boys work diligently until lunchtime, with only minimal interruption to Mom’s work.
If this is your vision of what homeschooling your children will be like, I’d like you to please remove those rose-colored glasses and brace yourself. This was pure, unadulterated fantasy. Does the phrase, “In your dreams!” mean anything?
Sure, not having an external deadline removes the morning frenzy. But the truth is, mornings aren’t necessarily better when you don’t have a departure deadline to meet. In fact, based on human psychology, a deadline is an important motivator, even for people who say they hate time restrictions.
In the first article in this series, I offered a checklist to help you evaluate your family dynamics. Let’s look at a hypothetical situation — this one more realistic than my Disney-esque reverie.
This family of three children has decided to homeschool due to several considerations. Here is a brief profile of each family member:
Child Number One, age 11, is an early riser, like her father. She’s “up with the chickens,” bounds out of bed fully awake and ready to face the day cheerfully. She has been identified as gifted in multiple areas, but the local school system only has an “enrichment” program for its gifted and talented students.
Child Number Two, age 9, is not a morning person, like his mother. He resists all but the most insistent attempts at rousing him before nine a.m., and is essentially uncommunicative until his brain is fully awake. He was slow to learn to read and has other learning disabilities.
Child Number Three, age 7, is a night owl, like his uncle, reading late into the night, but is easier to rouse than his older brother. Still, lack of sleep makes him cranky and uncooperative. He has been diagnosed with ADHD, but the parents have opted not to use medication to control it. Rather, they are helping him learn to turn the shortcomings of his “condition” into strengths.
Mom, the primary homeschool parent in this scenario, has learned over the years how to function in the morning, despite it not being her best time of day. She can get up and around as early as necessary, but given the choice, would prefer to sleep until she awakens naturally. She is a writer who formerly utilized the quiet school hours to get her work done. Now she must fit her writing into the homeschool day.
Dad, the current breadwinner who aspires to get a family home business off the ground within a year, has a job that requires him to travel out of town three to five days a week. This is his main reason for wanting a home-based business, so that he can spend more time with the family, and be an active part of the education of their children. He’s the first to bed every night, and the first up each morning.
Given this family dynamic, with diverse morning personalities and individual issues coming into play, can you predict where the points of potential conflict might occur?
No doubt this is over-simplified. Personal biases do get in the way; personal preferences are strong motivators; and sleep, or lack thereof, is an issue researchers are still learning about.
Here is my personal take on this scenario. Adults who struggle with mornings themselves, although they might prefer to sleep until they naturally awaken, have learned to one degree or another to get up and prepare for the day because they have responsibilities that depend upon their doing so. Those who work outside the home must report to an employer. Those who have young children absolutely must be awake and on top of things once those children are up.
My point is this: regardless of a pre-disposition to either rising eagerly or climbing up through a fog, this behavior of getting up because “duty calls” is learned. So it follows that if homeschooling families do not teach their children that they, too, must rise to meet the day in a timely way to fulfill their own responsibilities, these same children will have some harsh lessons to learn when they reach adulthood. But our job as parents is to prepare them for adulthood, not set them up for failure.
Now, does this mean that “Reveille” should be played at 5:30 every morning and “Taps” sounded at 9:30 each night in order to build character? Not at all.
The key is to be consistent, and to build your schedule around your family’s needs, without neglecting to teach the importance of getting up in time to meet obligations and responsibilities.
If you’re doing those things, you’re doing more than many homeschooling families, and your children will be the better for it. With careful consideration, you should be able to come up with a morning schedule that works for your household and helps your children to achieve their maximum potential as responsible human beings.
About the Author: Deb Gallardo is a published author for adults and children, an educator, and former home instructor for her daughter (now in college). She hosts a blog, “The Story Ideas Virtuoso,” where she helps fiction writers find story ideas, and offers creative writing tips, advice and inspiration. In her spare time, Deb performs in semi-professional musical theatre productions and dinner theatre venues in and around Central Ohio. You can tweet with her too.

