As parents, we spend a lot of time teaching our kids right from wrong. We show them what is right, how to behave and how to make adult decisions all the while hoping they won’t fall for negative peer pressure. Even with all this teaching, children still make mistakes. We can’t expect them to be perfect children but we can still help them learn to stay on track by utilizing some techniques to avoid peer pressure.
1. Assign responsibility to your teen. Sometimes kids are wrongly blamed for something they did not do. Sometimes this betrayal is caused by a so-called friend or it could be a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. No matter what the circumstance, you should still put some responsibility on your child. Teach them that they should be held responsible for their actions, which ultimately would include their choice in friends.
2. Teach your child how to get out of bad situations and avoid peer pressure. One of the best ways to help them avoid giving in to peer pressure is to role play. Think of various situations your teen might find themselves in and then let them tell you how they would handle the situation first and then share what you think should be done to handle it. Role playing will show your child how to handle another teen and the peer pressure. Practicing correct dialogue and body language will instill confidence in your teen.
3. Communicate your desire to help. Children don’t like to admit that they need their parents but knowing their parents support them and care about what happens can be lifesaving in a moment of need. Reinforce that you will help them out of any situation, no matter what the time of day. This is especially important if your teen goes to parties where there is underage drinking. Knowing that they can call you for a ride can literally save their life if the alternative is to get into the car with a drunk friend.
4. Reinforce the family rules in a calm manner. Every family has different rules but it’s important to be very clear with your teen about what those rules are and what the consequences will be if those rules are broken. Teens are not mind readers and they will try to test your rules. They are also wonderfully manipulative negotiators so be prepared for an argument unless you state the consequences very clearly.
Your child will need to know that even though you’re not in charge of the friends, you are still a parent or guardian to your child and must enforce the rules you have in place for their health and safety. These rules can be adjusted as the child grows older and they start to understand respect for others and their property. They will need to know that trust is something that will have to be built over time and they should abide by the rules to increase your trust in them and gain more freedom for themselves.
Peer pressure is present everywhere. Teaching your child how to react to peer pressure and giving them the confidence to stand up for themselves will help them to exhibit positive peer pressure behaviors. If your child knows other children with these similar behaviors, those who don’t care what the group is doing, then let your child know these are the friends they should be hanging out with, so the good behavior rubs off on your child.
Rejecting peer pressure is not impossible but arming your teen with the knowledge of how to say “No” to a group is very empowering.
Aurelia Williams is a certified life coach and author of Real Life Guidance to Understanding Your Teen. Learn how to make sense of what’s going on with your teen and be able to offer them the help they need.
