Motherhood Lessons is a regular series of posts we share here on Mom’s Talk Network – every day lessons shared by real moms.

My motherhood experience is extremely limited, and by that I mean I’ve been mothering my son for exactly 506 days. I don’t have years and years of parenting under my belt. I don’t even know what it’s like to suffer through a toddler tantrum in public, to potty train or to send a kid off to school.

For sixteen and a half months we’ve been on this journey together. Figuring things out as we go, figuring each other out as we go. One day, this short amount of time will feel like a blink of an eye, but as I sit and reflect on my experiences as a mom, I am overcome with pride at the very important lesson that motherhood has taught me: nobody’s perfect.

We’re all just kind of winging it, doing the best we can with what we have to ensure that our kids are growing into kind, smart and considerate children. While we’re doing this, we’re also trying desperately to ensure the vitality of our relationships with our significant other, our family and our friends, maintain a quasi-clean and relatively safe home and, for some, hold down a job where our boss definitely cares if we change out of our yoga pants.

Whether we stay-at-home full time, work full time or walk a fine line between the two, we are overcome with mommy guilt that our decision isn’t what’s best for our kids. That we aren’t doing enough, cleaning enough, baking enough, volunteering enough or hugging enough to live up to the standard that those perfect moms are setting.

Here’s the thing: There is no “perfect” when it comes to motherhood.

What worked for me may not work for you and vice-versa. We hear all the time that all pregnancies are different and all babies are different, but what we don’t hear enough of is all moms are different, too, and none of us, not a single one of us have got this thing down pat.

We all have doubts and meltdowns and moments where we feel like we can’t possibly go one more second without a nap, or, at the very least, a tall glass of wine and a girlfriend to vent to.

We all wonder if the well-researched decisions we make with a clear head are going to be the best ones for our babies. We all wonder if there’s any more we can do.

We all make mistakes…and will continue making many, many more before our time as a mom has expired.

Motherhood is a hard, challenging commitment full of self-sacrifice, but the payoff, even after 16-months is indescribable happiness that personifies itself in the eyes of my son. When I hear that sometimes devious but always genuine laugh of his, I could care less if my house is a mess, I forgot (yet again…) to run that errand and that I’m still wearing the same clothes I woke up in.

Let’s all take a deep breath, hug your babies and tell yourself that you’re doing OK.

I am now tagging these creative, insightful moms for them to share their motherhood lessons:

• MBA Mommy
• Red Dirt Revival

I know you have learned a lot as a mom, so I invite you to participate in the meme and post a ‘Motherhood Lesson’ on your blog.  (Please grab the graphic and link back to this post!) When you do, please tag three more moms that you’d like to see share a lesson too.

I still have so much to learn, but one of the things that I have learned in the 8 years that I have been a mother is to try something more than once.

I have to admit one of my pet peeves when I talk to other Moms is when they complain that their child is a picky eater. Now, I do understand that there are children out there that have may have some sensory issues and this may result in not liking certain foods due to the texture. I am not talking about those kids. I am talking to the ones who complain that their child will only eat three things, macaroni and cheese, chicken nuggets and french fries.

When I ask them if these are are the only things that they will buy for their child. They will say…

“Yes, that is only thing that they will eat and I don’t want them to starve!”

I have to admit there was a time when I worried about that too. I used to think. I have to get them to eat something, I am their parent and it is my responsibility to make sure my child is fed. What I learned is that if I keep feeding my child the same thing, that is what he will crave, especially if it something that contains a lot of sugar, salt or fat.

My husband and I used to own a coffee bar. We were very busy and always on our feet. I never seemed to have enough time. I used to take our son into the shop with us. When things got hectic and there was not time to prepare something, it was all too easy to take him to Wendy’s, which was conveniently located in the same plaza, and buy a kids meal for him. This went on for a couple of months.

He collected quite a few kids meal toys.

I said this has got to stop, I have to bring healthy food from home. Our then two year old, would complain and beg to go to Wendy’s. He would put up a fight when I tried to get him to eat anything else. I could have said to myself,

“Oh he is a picky eater, I better concede and get him a kids meal.”

Instead what I decided to do is to stop the Wendy’s habit cold turkey. We started cutting up raw vegetables and fruit for him and made sure that we some available. I would do the same thing with cheese and meat. The key was my husband and I did not give up. We did not assume that because our son tried a carrot once or even twice and made a face, that he was done with carrots. It takes some time to develop new habits. Sometimes it takes multiple attempts. When I think back, getting the Wendy’s kids meal was more for my benefit than for my sons.

I was taking the easy way out.

I knew if I bought it for him, he would not put up a fight and meal time would not take forever. It is our responsibility as parents to keep trying. Growing kids need a variety of foods to be healthy, not just three. If you have a “picky eater” at home try what I did. Cut up fresh fruits and vegetables and put them in a bowl.

Don’t say anything, just have it available for them.

It may take some time, but don’t give up. I do not expect our son to like everything we give him, but there is a rule in our house. You have to try it at least once before you tell me that you don’t like it. If they don’t like it, try offering the food again in a couple of weeks or a month, this time prepare it a little differently. See what happens. There are so many exciting foods to try and your kids are worth the effort!

I am now tagging these moms to invite them to post their own Motherhood Lessons

• Joanne Bruso
• Jenny at Picky Palate
• Raleigh Mom

I know you have learned a lot as a mom, so I invite you to participate in the meme and post a ‘Motherhood Lesson’ on your blog.  (Please grab the graphic and link back to this post!) When you do, please tag three more moms that you’d like to see share a lesson too.

Before having kids I was pretty anal about my things.  I need to have everything in a particular place, at a particular time.  I hated when my plastic bowls that matched weren’t together, I hated when the tops that didn’t match weren’t together.  I mean it would drive me crazy and if I found one that didn’t match I would throw it away.

That was how it was for anything in my house.  I got to have one cluttered area and that was my closet.  Imagine cooking dinner, thinking everything is all peachy keen and the kids are playing behind me with their toys.  I know people say their kids love playing with their bowls will keep them quiet, but let me pull out one bowl and one spoon.  Do you see where I am going?   If not, talk about my beautifully organized and color coded bowls and tops came crashing out.  At first, I could feel the heat rising as I turned around to firmly say, “No” to my kids.

I actually just looked at them, I mean I really looked at them laughing as my 2 year old put one of my white Kitchen Aid bowls on his sister’s head and they were laughing.  Not just a couple giggles but they had that hearty from the stomach laugh and it melted my heart.  At that moment, I was so thankful I looked at them and just enjoyed their happiness.

Sometimes as parents we think that we need to have so much structure, no fun and only discipline. I have learned that is not true at all.  This afternoon my kids and I relaxed on pillows on the floor. My son watched a couple episodes of Ni-Hao Kai Lan and my daughter fell asleep just relaxing with us.  Now if I had been firm on their nap time and not relaxed a little I would not have been able to enjoy that moment of just feeling close to my kids.

My lesson has been just to relax and take a step back.  Remember the small things like that bond between you and your children and how good it feels to hear that laughter.

I am now tagging these two moms:

•  Anne Sellers
• Ashley Marin

When I became a mom I was not prepared to stop doing the things I had been doing.  I was (well I still am) a 20 something who loved a cocktail on Friday and Saturday nights. I didn’t realize that my Fridays would be spent recording Yo Gabba Gabba so during the day I could get 15 minutes to shower and brush my teeth while my son was in his bouncy.

At that moment, I remember washing my hair and thinking, “Is this how its going to be for the next 3 years?” Where was my vodka and cranberries? Oh, they were replaced by apple juice mixed with water for my son and spit up on my shirt.  What happened to those sexy high heels? They were replaced by slip ins so I could run after my lil man and his sister when they play or attempt to get away.

I remember going in to one of my mommy forums and asking what some women did for themselves.  One mom said she was proud to say her kids were 5 and 8 and she hadn’t spent one night away from them.  At that moment I realized 2 things,  she needed a night out and I wasn’t one of those moms.  I love having a night or two off a month to do whatever, sleep or go out with my girlfriends, or if I am feeling frisky – a date night!

I realize that taking 10-12 hours to myself makes me a better mom and I love that.  Try taking a few hours to yourself and even though you will miss your kids like crazy, I bet you will enjoy the silence and being able to hear your own thoughts for a little while.

I have to admit, I that I have only been a mother for eight years. I know that there are so many things left to learn. I think that no matter how old you are, or how old your child is, you never stop learning. One of the greatest lessons that I have learned as a mom, is to forgive yourself. As moms we feel that we have to be super human sometimes. We have to juggle many balls at the same time. Sometimes we drop a ball, sometimes we drop all of them.

We are human.

I remember absolutely losing it on a number of occasions with my son Jack when he was about three.

It took my husband and I three hours to get out the door. My son refused to wear his shoes. When we finally got him in the car. He promptly took off his shoes and kicked his Dad in the drivers seat. Well we had 3 hours of kicking, screaming and crying and I reached my breaking point and turned around and yelled, I mean really yelled. I guess I must of shouted pretty loud because my son instantly stopped and looked at me with his great big blue eyes, put up his top lip and starting sobbing.

The sight of this made me want to start to cry.

My heart ached that I had gotten to that point.

The point of no return.

It is point where you can not contain your frustration and you speak in a tone that leaves you feeling guilty. You start thinking, “Will he remember this for the rest of his life?” “Will it leave a scar?” The answer is no. No, you can’t take it back but you are human and humans make mistakes. It is what makes us human. I learned that it is necessary to forgive ourselves, because that is ultimately what we want to teach our kids. I tell my son, Jack it does not matter what you do, not matter how bad it is, I will always love you.

Now that Jack is older, he will come up with creative responses like, “What if I burn the house down?” I will always answer, “I still love you.” As parents, we do not find it difficult to say this to our kids, well maybe sometimes, no I am joking. What is harder to do is to say it to yourself.

Love yourself.  Forgive yourself.

You will have a much easier time loving and forgiving those around you, if you start with you!