Spousal Mental Abuse
March 15, 2007
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Mental abuse may not leave physical scars, but it does inflict pain. It affects how we view ourselves as human beings worthy of love and respect. When the person who has vowed to love you through every facet of life is the abuser, it makes the abuse that much harder to break free from.
For women who are the victims of mental abuse, denial is a common response. Because there is no physical brutality they feel that they don’t deserve to complain about it. Society has all but said that abuse is not “real” unless you can produce evidence. So these women don’t even consider that they are being victimized by their spouse. If he tells her that she is worthless, then it must be true.
Mental abuse can be present in the form of shouted insults, demeaning comments, or willful neglect. I watched a movie once where a man did nothing for his wife but expected her to do everything for him. He had only one car which meant that she had to find a way to do all the errands he demanded she be responsible for. She didn’t eat in his presence, but had to wait until he left. Through it all, she believed that he loved her because she had a roof over her head.
When a person is constantly under mental attack, the strain of it begins to show. The person abused may begin to abuse others. She can’t lash out at home so she vents her frustrations on others. The abuse could make her feel ashamed enough to only go out when she needs to. Her self-confidence is all but nonexistent at this point.
Mental abuse can cause physical symptoms in the life of the victim. Ulcers could develop from the constant worry that something wrong will be said that will cause yelling or the “silent treatment” from the spouse. The confusion could cause headaches. One minute, he says that he loves you and the next he is telling you that your dinners aren’t fit for a dog to eat.
Mental abusers are like children. They behave badly just to get their way. And, they won’t get help until their victims admits that what they are experiencing is spousal mental abuse. The cycle of pain has to be broken.
The only way that she can be freed is to seek counseling. A professional can explain that she is not a worthless person but one that has been systematically torn down by her spouse. Staying silent is not helping the abuser or keeping the marriage healthy. It’s only a matter of time before his rage escalates into physical violence. Admitting the abuse and getting treated can save both your lives.
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Posted by admin | Filed Under Health & Wellness
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