Moms Talk Network

I was tagged to do the Randomness Meme by Amy at Family on the Phone.  For this meme we’re supposed to list our favorite quotes, so I decided to make the quotes mom-friendly for Mom’s Resource Blog.  Here are some of my favorite funny quotes from kids:

When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, “Mommy, you are getting fat!” I replied, “Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy.” “I know,” she replied, but what’s growing in your butt?”

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. “If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, ‘Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait.’” Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, “Ryan, you be Jesus.  

A physician and her 4 year old daughter were in the car on the way to preschool. The doctor/mother had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. “Be still, my heart,” thought the mother, “my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!” Then the child spoke into the instrument: “Welcome to McDonald’s. May I take your order?”

A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, “The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.” His son asked, “What happened to the flea?”

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher.

A little girl asked her mother, “Can I go outside and play with the boys?” Her mother replied, “No, you can’t play with the boys, they’re too rough.” The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, “If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?”

A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, Would you like to say the blessing?” “I wouldn’t know what to say,” the girl replied. “Just say what you hear Mommy say,” the wife answered. The daughter bowed her head and said,”Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?”

At the beginning of a children’s sermon, one girl came up to the altar wearing a beautiful dress. As the children were sitting down around the pastor, he leaned over and said to the girl, “That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter dress?” The girl replied almost directly into the pastor’s clip-on mike,”Yes, and my Mom says it’s a bitch to iron.”

 What funny things have your kids said?

I’m tagging the following people to do this meme:

Danielle at Danielle’s Journey

Pam at Screaming Mimi Too

Debbie at The Queen Mommy