Being a wife and mother may not be a paid position, but it is no less a job. Giving special attention to children during their formative years is to be commended not condemned. Still, moms who stay at home often feel a sense of guilt.
For any family, a sudden illness or other catastrophic event can put a strain on the finances even if both parents were working. It is normal to feel impotent when such things are thrust upon us. What is not normal is letting the situation cause guilt over your position in the household. A significant number of people think that these moms lounge all day and play with the children. That is not the truth of the matter.
Preventing Feelings of Guilt
Make Boundaries - When one parent stays at home and the other continues to work, boundaries need to be defined. There must be an understanding about the duties expected of each family member. For example, the mother who is home with the children may be responsible for housework. The working spouse will have to take up the slack financially if more money is needed.
Discuss Financial Matters – It should also be agreed that financial matters are a matter of family discussion. Just because the mom doesn’t work outside the home, doesn’t mean that the money is the sole property of the husband. The mother is saving money by keeping the children at home instead of paying a sitter.
Share Feelings – If you are feeling guilty, talk to your husband. Sometimes, a reassuring word is all that is needed to dispel those feelings. Knowing that your husband doesn’t see any need for the guilt will make you feel better.
Take Breaks – Keeping small children happy is a full time job. You are taking them to play groups, going to the doctor for visits, fixing breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and whatever else comes with the territory. When you put them down for a nap, it’s okay to take a break and rest without feeling guilty.
Make Time for Yourself - Kids can push our buttons at times and cause us to get angry. After the anger comes guilt over shouting at the children or the husband. At the first sign that you are coming unraveled, find a quiet place to sit and calm down. Having moments of meditation in the morning before everyone awakes will give you a chance to set yourself before things get busy.
Guilt can be brought on by any number of circumstances. Being a stay-at-home mom is not easy and it is a position that demands respect. As long as you know that you are being the best mom that you can be, have confidence in your self and your actions.
Grab your free copy of Hot Mama Makeover and start feeling sexier and more confident.
About Kelly
