Moms Talk Network

That is the question. Or should I say the issue a lot of parents struggle with. I’ve seen both sides of the issue work well for different families; some parents are very strict with their children and have raised well respected, successful children and some parents who aren’t so strict have also raised well respected, successful children who are now adults.

On the flip side of that, I’ve seen parents who are strict with their children end up with pre-teens and teens that resent that they weren’t able to make choices on their own or who weren’t allowed as much freedom as their friends, as well as parents who have raised their children with a “lighter” hand, so-to-speak, and their children have grown up to be independent, successful people.

So, how do we, as parents, decide which way to go, especially when starting out in the parenting arena? Being a mom of 4 kids, ages 16 to 25, I think doing what is right for your family is the best way to go. Let me explain. Our pastor and his family are very strict with his kids when it comes to the issue of church attendance. Of course he is the pastor and it is expected that his kids attend church regularly.

On the other hand, in my situation, I am remarried and my ex-husband does not attend church and has taught our kids that church attendance is not important, much to my disagreement, but that’s what he believes. So, while my now- husband and I encourage my kids to go to church and teach them that a relationship with Jesus Christ is important, we don’t force it upon them. They are free to choose.

With that being said, my daughters have chosen to have a relationship with God, one of my son’s struggles in his relationship and my other son follows in his father’s footsteps, much to our dismay. So, as you can see, I’ve gotten different results with each of my children, even though I’ve raised them the same way.

Same goes with basic discipline-what do you allow or what don’t you allow? My 16 year old daughter has a boyfriend whose parents are very strict with him, which I’m grateful for. I’m grateful because his parents don’t allow him to be alone with my daughter, and they have raised him to very polite and well mannered.

Now, my daughter may not like that he gets grounded when he’s gone over his cell phone minutes or is getting bad grades in school, but I appreciate the protection it provides for both of them. I know that when she goes to his house, they won’t be left alone, allowing them to fall into temptation and the same rule applies at our house when he comes to visit.

How about when your kids are young? Are you strict with them, making all their choices for them, or do you allow them to make some simple choices on their own, allowing them to learn from their mistakes? I think it’s so important to guide and direct our children in the way that they should go, but to give them some room to learn from their mistakes, otherwise when they are older, how will they learn to make the wiser choices?

What are your thoughts on disciplining your kids? What stages of life are you and your kids in now and what lessons have you learned through the years, or months if you’re a new mom?

This post is for Motherhood Lessons Meme. Now I tag:

• Nicole at All 4 My Gals
• Arika at They Call Me Wahmmy
  
• My friend at Too Many Hats
• Kelly at Baby Boogers
• LaTara at Mom Unplugged
• Cindy at Mom Maven
• Lisa at Two Blocks Ago