Living Positively As A Family
September 8, 2008
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This article was written by Guest Blogger Aurelia Williams of Real Life Guidance.
If you read my article from last week, I wrote about ways to change your outlook on life and become more positive. Many people believe that positive energy attracts other positive energy into your life but even if you don’t agree with that philosophy, being positive can help keep you happy and healthy.
But what happens if you are trying to become more positive but your family members continue to grumble and groan about everything that goes wrong? Do your children get upset after a hard day at school or is your partner quiet and moping after a long day at work? This negative energy can pull you out of a good mood so maybe it’s time for the whole family to have an attitude adjustment.
Practicing being positive will bring about better results than simply preaching about it to your family. Set up a money jar so that when someone says something negative, they have to put a nickel or quarter in the jar. That includes parents, too! Not only will everyone be more likely to think before they speak but your family will also realize there are consequences to their actions. It may be tough for kids to part with their beloved coins but they are learning an important life lesson.
You can also make a contest between family members or between the adults and the kids to see who can be the most positive. Whichever team contributes the least amount of money for a week – those who are the most positive – can split the coins in the jar.
Or, for the sake of family unity, take the money after 3-4 weeks and treat the family to a special treat for all to share.
An even better idea, which reinforces the good consequences for being positive, is to keep a chart and reward those family members for having a good attitude. Decide together what kind of rewards to give and how many points you need to earn those rewards. Give your family members a point every time they are caught “being good” or being helpful or especially positive. Helping to set the dinner table or helping a sibling with a problem are good examples.
You could even give bonus points for how well your children deal with disappointment. For example, if your child fails a test but vows to work harder the next time, award extra points. If your partner was passed over for a promotion and doesn’t come home slamming doors or venting about how unfair life is, give extra points.
If you would rather eliminate the need for rewards and just want to help your family reflect on how good life is, simply set aside some quiet time without distractions to talk about what you’re all thankful for. This exercise does not have to saved for Thanksgiving once a year. Make it a regular family tradition, weekly or monthly, and look forward to connecting with your family and making them think about all the good things in their lives rather than all the things they don’t have.
Another interactive exercise is to give each family members index cards and set up a bulletin board in a central place in your home. Everyday each person has to write one nice thing about someone else in the family and put it on the board. You can give compliments, tell something you appreciate about them, or encourage them if they are down. When the board fills up, give each member the cards written for them and encourage them to decorate their rooms or make a collage with the positive thoughts. Seeing these everyday will reinforce how much their family members care and will help build self-esteem.
Changing your whole family’s attitude will take some time but is well worth the effort. Your family will begin to interact nicely together and will enjoy the time spent together, which will lead to close relationships as the children reach adulthood.
Being a mom is extremely rewarding, but it’s challenging. Get the help you need at Real Life Guidance. It’s your place for instant downloadable help for moms, day or night.
photo credit: 1ittlearmywife
Posted by Christina | Filed Under Parenting
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