Learning to say No Even When You’re a Stay-at-Home Mom

August 10, 2007

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Many feel that being a stay-at-home mother is not a real job. Trust me, it is just as involved and requires forethought and planning like most external working environments. It is easy for a stay-at-home mother to get taken advantage of because they do not work outside of the home. Learn how to avoid the pitfalls.

When you decide to become a stay-at-home mom, sit down and define your ‘job description’. All stay-at-home mothers do not watch their children exclusively. Some use their home as the venue for their business ventures. Being at home allows them to delete the childcare expense.

Whatever your reason for staying at home, set some ground rules. Don’t fall into the trap of having every minute of the day planned out for you by family members and friends. Let them know that your time is valuable even inside the home. If you have plans for a day in the park with your children, you may have to say no to the person who wants you to pick their kids up from school or the husband who wants you to take his car to the shop.

List your skills and accomplishments. For women who come out of the workplace to stay at home with the children, the lack of a job can lower their self-esteem. You are just as important in the home setting. Use your skills to do volunteer work or start a neighborhood group for other stay-at-home mothers. Skills honed in the workplace do not have to sit idle.

Begin a new network of support. Mothers who stay at home form support groups and schedule outings. While the children play, the mothers get to have healthy grown up interactions. These meetings encourage stay-at-home moms in their chosen vocation.

It is okay to do favors for others as a stay-at-home mother. Your freedom to move about is an advantage that can benefit other family members and friends in time of need. But, let them know that this does not give them free reign to saddle you with their chores simply because you do not have to travel to your job.

Mothers may feel guilty saying no but it gets easier over time. The place to start is within your own home. Husbands need to be the first to realize that your time is valuable. When they ask you to do something that you don’t have time for, let them know it. Being honest avoids arguments later because you feel taken for granted.

Knowing yourself is the key to letting others know you, too. Saying no to unreasonable or inconvenient demands lets others know where you stand without causing conflict.

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Posted by admin | Filed Under Stay At Home Moms 

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