If so, you (and your young adult) should read this:
Your young adult, or at least they think they are at this stage, is about to graduate from high school (or college) and is talking about moving out. Their motivation lies in the fact that seemingly ALL their friends have their own place or they are tired of the “tyrannical” rules they have to follow while living at home. Perhaps at the same time you are getting kind of tired of them and their know- it-all attitude as well.
Well, as a parent who has dealt with this more than once, I have some advice for both of you.
First, all those friends who have their own place are finding out real fast that it wasn’t all they thought it would be. Getting the rent together, the utilities, cell phone, cable TV, food, insurance, fuel, etc, is turning out to be WAY harder then they expected.
They used to have plenty of money to eat out, go to the movies, buy new clothes and didn’t really have to budget for anything. Now those are all luxuries.
I would imagine they are probably only a few dollars away from having to move back home themselves and, statistically speaking, they will after less than 6 months (so don’t sign a long lease!).
As a parent you should know what I’ve just described because you will likely end up carrying the burden of their rent until the lease is up and then you’ll need to clean out your new crafts room so your kid can move back in with you.
This is what happened with my son Ira. He went straight into the Army after high school. I thought, “Oh good, they will take care of him and he’ll get out with a GI bill so he can go to college”.
Boy was I mistaken.
In the Army all his expenses were covered so he got in the habit of spending all the cash he earned. All the advice I was giving him on saving and investing fell on deaf ears. When he got out he had about $7000.00 and couldn’t wait to get his own place. I was trying to get him to come home until college started but he insisted on renting a house. I was shocked when he called me the very next month needing a loan for $300 just to cover his rent. He had burned through the $7000 in less than 30 days! I looked over his bank statement and found he was trying to spend money the same as he did when he was in the military but now he had bills and he wasn’t prepared for planning for them.
If you just HAVE to move out, here are some things you should be aware of:
- Rent
- Utilities
- Food
- Entertainment
- Clothing
- Gas
- Insurance
- Cable TV
- Internet
Figure out what each of those are going to cost you. Now, add another 20% because its going to be much more than you expect. Do you want to throw that away every month just so you can live in a little apartment?
Sure, you can get a roommate but that’s probably not going to go like you have planned either. Ira thought the roommate idea was the way to go. I tried to warn him but he was sure it wasn’t going to be a problem. Well, part of the reason he needed the loan from me was because the other roommates didn’t have their share so he was covering everything including all the security deposits.
This is what I predict for your kids who prematurely moved out. They’ll be back at home soon and likely deep in debt and maybe have an eviction on their record. If you (or your son/daughter) are thinking of moving out, be sure you are ready and really want to burn the bulk of you income on housing.
If Ira had stayed with me instead of moving out on his own, he could have planned for making a better income early in life. He might have gotten a few small investments and maybe even bought a small condo for his first place instead of wasting thousands of dollars on rent. He could have had $30,000 in 3 years and at 24 he could have purchased or started a business of his own or paid cash for college (The GI bill has kicked in now that he’s going to school and fortunately, they cover his rent).
8 Responses to “Is Your Son or Daughter Wanting to Move Out?”
Mary Lutz
10 months ago
I think the more you can prepare your kids while they're still at home, the better off they'll be when they move out. My 17 year old baby is in her last year of highschool and is going to attend the community college nearby. I'm trying to teach her how to cook, budget, clean and take care of her car so that she will know how to do it when she's out on her own. I'm not saying there won't be times when she will need help, because there certainly will be. But the more prepared they are when they're still under your roof, the easier it will be when they move out. My daughter does her own laundry, keeps her room and the upstairs bathroom clean as well as vacuums the entire upstairs, every week, without me reminding her. It's the cooking, helping out with other chores and budgeting that she really needs to work on…especially the cooking…lol.
MKlosterman
10 months ago
It's better for kids to make mistakes at home than when they're on their own. Parents are around to teach them how to solve these types of problems.
texaspawprints
10 months ago
Oh Mimi, I shudder as I read your account here. We are most likely only about five years from having to face this issue. I do plan on stressing finances and budgeting as part of their school curriculum. What is your opinion on the practice some people have of charging their kids rent while they are still at home? I have heard of some parents doing this once their kids start working. Some will even put that “rent” money aside and then give it to the child later when they are ready to get married or buy a house. Any thoughts on that?
Wesley
10 months ago
I think that’s a very good idea. If you do not charge them rent, and this is generally speaking, they are going to blow it. That money that they are giving you will go on clothes, cell phones, shoes, ect. If you save it for them now they will have a nest egg later. Very good idea. A couple hundred dollars, not too much, maybe $150-$200 is perfect. Their appreciation may go up as well. On a side note though, when you start charging them rent its very hard to enforce rules because now they feel like they are paying their share and can do whatever they want.
-WB
Wesley
10 months ago
I totally agree. Way better for them to mess up at home and you can easily help them out of the situation than on their own.
Wesley
10 months ago
Mary,
I want to commend you for what you are doing. Far too young people move out without the skills they actually do need to move out. There is always trail and error but not all things in life have to be done like that. By teaching your daughter how to do those things now you are preparing her to one day live on her own and not have to live at Taco Bell or have 20 overdraft fees within the fist month.
MKlosterman
10 months ago
It's better for kids to make mistakes at home than when they're on their own. Parents are around to teach them how to solve these types of problems.
Nikki Brown
10 months ago
Oh Mimi, I shudder as I read your account here. We are most likely only about five years from having to face this issue. I do plan on stressing finances and budgeting as part of their school curriculum. What is your opinion on the practice some people have of charging their kids rent while they are still at home? I have heard of some parents doing this once their kids start working. Some will even put that “rent” money aside and then give it to the child later when they are ready to get married or buy a house. Any thoughts on that?