As children grow up and move away from the family home, parents can be left with feelings of loss. Here are a few tips and suggestions to help you move beyond the Empty Nest Syndrome.
If someone asked you why you should be happy your child is going out on their own, how would you answer? While we all want our children to be safe and have a happy, full life, yet at the same time have this desire for them to remain home just a bit longer, many of our peers are yelling, “Don’t clip their wings, mom!”
It is often said that you have to let them go and give them the opportunity to learn the lessons of life on their own. It may be a hard pill to swallow, but in fact it is true. You have to let them fly, and while there will be times their wings may become a bit frayed, they will make it because you as parents taught them how.
One can play devil’s advocate here and say, “Why the hurry?” “What if they can’t make it?” “What if their job doesn’t provide enough to pay the rent; buy food – how will they live!” In the end, your son or daughter will make the move at the appropriate time. Today’s young adults are a bit more mature and less reticent about going out on their own.
Here is an interesting statistic you may or may not like to hear: an estimated 22 million adult sons and daughters are living with their parents. While this is mostly due to high rents and housing costs; loss of jobs; and other personal issues, the fact is that the kids you once said goodbye to in their late teens are returning to the nest.
While some parents may not like the idea, others may. In some cases, an adult child moving back home may be a welcomed idea. Parents who receive modest pensions and have a house not yet fully paid for may be grateful for additional help. Converting a basement or attic to an apartment for the son or daughter may seem like a logical solution. Of course, the ground rules have to be set; and what they are is entirely up to all parties concerned.
The next time you see your baby bird fly out of the nest, put a candle in the window in case he decides to fly home again.
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