Advertise Here

Don’t Neglect Yourselves, Mom

May 26, 2008 By

I am a mother of two. I used to think my children ruled my world and my body. I used to think that the world revolves around my children and they deserve every single second of my time and every single cent in my bank account.

Not that I don’t think so now, but as a mom, I can tell you that if moms everywhere in the world continue to dedicate their entire beings to their kids, the future will have loads of happy and well-raised children. However, there will be a lot of moms who lack self-confidence, are unhappy with the way they lived their lives, and is discontented with the way they feel about themselves. Future Moms will feel regret. Future moms will lose their own identity. Future moms will feel dysfunctional in social surroundings.

No, motherhood does not signify the end of yourself, just because you had your kids. In fact, motherhood is something that enhances and celebrates your womanhood. You’ve done something that is STILL exclusive (naturally) to women. No man will ever be able to give birth and nurture children the way we do.

But because of the overwhelming emotions, feelings and concern that we have for our children, we might forget to tend to ourselves. And that’s unhealthy for mothers, regardless of race, religion and culture.

I strongly encourage all moms to be with ‘themselves’, without the kids for 30mins – 60mins every single day. Moms could do something impulsive, like go shopping without the kids. Moms could go for a facial. Moms could visit the gym. Moms could call a friend for a talk. Moms could pick up a good book and read it in the bath! ANYTHING you want to do!

As a mother, I encourage you to dedicate some of your time and financial resources on finding and connecting with yourself on a daily basis. The method could be different because one method may work for one mother and yet, it doesn’t work for the other. So, find the right method that helps you spend some time with yourself.

If you don’t, you’ll feel tired and resentful about being mom. And when you’re at that stage, it’s hard to snap out of it and you’ll end up mistreating, not only yourself, but your kids and your husband too!

How did I know? Simple. It happened to me. I snapped out of it and I hope that those who are in the same position can snap out of it too. Don’t stay in the trance for too long.

Pamper yourself, you deserve it….yes, even though you’re mom, you’re still a human being…you’re still a woman!

Article by: Marsha Maung is a freelance graphic designer and copy writer who works from home. She designs apparel and premium items at All Mom Stuff and is the author of “Raising little magicians”, and the popular “The Lance in freelancing”. More information can be found at Marsha Maung.com.

Filed Under: Stay At Home Moms Tagged With: , , , ,

The Rewards of Being a Stay at Home Mom

May 19, 2008 By

The decision to be a stay at home mom, versus going to work, is a difficult one for most moms. After holding a precious baby in your arms for the first time, a natural motherly instinct is to never want to let that wee one out of your sight. The ability to be a stay at home mom is a wonderful opportunity that allows you to truly experience child rearing to it’s full potential. You are the caregiver of your children, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The life of a stay at home mom is one of the most rewarding lives one can leave. Not to say that a working mom’s life is not rewarding, yes there is a place for all of us in this world. Those who rush out to a 9-5 job and then come home to cuddle with the kids, help with homework, cook dinner and do laundry.

Some of the benefits of staying home are obvious, more time with the kids, no need for a babysitter or daycare, the ability to make all the decisions surrounding your child’s care. Then there are those you may not realize at first, no need for fancy clothes, less expense on items such as gas, lunches, and other things that surround the life of a working mom.

Stays at home moms also enjoy the company of their children all day long. Being with kids can be make you feel younger, and put you in tune with your younger days in a heartbeat. You can spend your time baking cookies, or building forts, maybe even creating animals with Play-Dough. You can also be your child’s first teacher, and teach them the basics of life, sing songs and enjoy nature. Many moms enjoy the challenge of teaching their babies their first word, to sing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star, or to recite their ABC’s and 123′s.

The life of a stay at home mom also includes many times many other responsibilities as well. As a stay at home mom, your spouse often times has expectations of what you will accomplish in one day, including, cleaning, laundry and meal preparation. It can be quite the task to juggle it all, but it can also be a job that will leave one feeling most accomplished at the end of the day.

Charissa Bear is the owner of Moms Inc, a wahm site full of telecommuting job resources and home based business ideas for stay at home moms.

Filed Under: Stay At Home Moms Tagged With: ,

Is Being A Stay-At-Home Mom Meant For Everyone?

May 12, 2008 By

When I was growing up in the 50’s and 60’s virtually everyone I knew had a stay-at-home mom but of course in those days no one ever used such a term. It was the norm and most mothers didn’t even consider the alternative. I think I had two friends whose mothers worked outside the home and that was when they were all almost in high school.

Times have changed dramatically. I’ve worked with hundreds of young parents over the years and most of them go back to work after their baby’s first birthday. Here in Canada mothers are given a one year paid maternity leave. I know in other parts of the world it’s much less. Some only get six weeks. Most of these mothers go back out of economic necessity. It’s now very difficult to raise a family on a single, average annual salary. I talk to many mothers who agonize over having to leave their baby and go back to work. They would give anything to stay home.

I have always considered myself a stay-at-home mom because although I’ve always worked at least part time, I’ve always been available to my kids before and after school and when they were very young, I sometimes worked in the evenings when my husband was home. I wouldn’t have had it any other way and knew it was the best decision for me and my family. My husband is a busy professional who puts in long hours and I knew I would be able to provide the balance we needed.

Throughout my years coaching parents and presenting workshops, I’ve come to realize there are mothers who do have a choice of whether or not to stay home and they’ve chosen to go back to work. They have found that they make better mothers when they are doing what they love. Some say that they just couldn’t handle being with a toddler all day long. Others say the resentment they felt brought out their worst. They constantly felt irritable and frustrated. Although many will say they admire mothers who stay home and find fulfillment in doing so, they have concluded that it’s just not for them.

I’m going to be honest and admit that I used to be quite judgmental towards women who chose to go back to work when their kids were very small, when they had the choice. I would say things like: “Why did they bother having kids if they weren’t prepared to be with them?’ Or, I would say: “How could a mother possible leave their baby in the care of someone else and go back to work?”

I can say now that I’ve changed my perspective and know those women who decide to go back to their job outside the home, do so because they know it’s best for the whole family. They are being true to themselves. They are women who are living with integrity. They in fact will report that the time they spend with their kids is far more enjoyable and positive than when they were home. They may be getting less of their mother but they’re getting the best of her. How can we say that’s a bad thing?

Article by: Barbara Desmarais is a parenting and life coach and host of “The Parenting Coach Show” on the internet radio station, Snippet Radio. She can be reached at barb@theparentingcoach.com

Filed Under: Stay At Home Moms Tagged With: , ,

How To Meet Other Stay At Home Moms

May 5, 2008 By

Many stay at home moms feel isolated. They spend so much time with their kids that it’s easy to feel that way. And if you don’t already know some fellow stay at home moms, it’s often hard to find them.

Where are they? Besides at home, that is.

Try the Park

I’ve run into a lot of my fellow SAHMs by taking my kids to the park. The trick is in figuring out what time they are going to be there.

I kept missing the other moms for a long time at the park. There were just never there when I was. But I always tended to go at lunchtime or later in the afternoon.

I finally started going to the park with my youngest after dropping my oldest off at kindergarten. Voila! There they were, also having their younger children play after dropping older children off at the school next door.

Try Activities

Yes, this costs money. But I’ve gotten to talk to a lot of other stay at home moms when I’ve been able to sign my kids up for activities. This especially works when the kids are younger and you have to stick around for the class. As a rule you’ll see other stay at home parents, the occasional part time employed parent, and grandparents having fun with their grandchildren.

Try Online

You won’t meet so many local moms as a rule, but there are plenty of forums and websites dedicated to stay at home moms. The Internet is full of resources and great people for you to meet. You can be very open about who you are or keep relatively anonymous.

There are also websites that can help you to get matched up with local moms. Just search on “mom groups” and you will find some great resources to help.

Take a Walk

Take a walk at various times of the day in your neighborhood. It can be hard to find other moms out for a walk with their kids sometimes, but it can be done. If you find a fellow stay at home mom, try walking together regularly. It can be a chance to get to know each other even before trying out a play date.

The great part is that many of these are free to do. Others may cost a small amount, but can be worth the expense if they’re fun for you and your child. As you get comfortable making the effort, you’ll realize how many potential friends you and your child have out there. And you won’t feel so isolated.

About the Author:
Stephanie Foster blogs at Home With The Kids about being a stay at home mom. Her site has a forum for stay at home moms.

Filed Under: Stay At Home Moms

Top Ten Ways to Enjoy Being a Stay At Home Mom

April 28, 2008 By

I have been a stay at home Mom for over eight years now, and have grown to enjoy every minute of it!

It wasn’t always this way, though. Don’t get me wrong…I love, love, love being with our children and watching them grow every step of the way. There is no other place in the world that I’d rather be. However, making the switch from being a full-time working woman to being a stay-at-home-mom was a big adjustment!

Gone were the days of taking care of myself first, and showering when I wanted to. I missed adult conversations, and the freedom that went along with having a job outside of the home.

Over the years I have discovered ways to enjoy each and every day that I am home with them, and avoid the isolation that sometimes comes with being a homemaker:

1. Create a routine. Make a time schedule for your days, and do your best to stick to it. I realize that it’s not always possible with little ones, but if you can do it most days, it will help you from feeling so overwhelmed.

2. Don’t lose your interests. Remember the things you like to do, and keep a some of them going. For the first few years I was at home, I completely lost myself. I would come to the section on a form that says “What are your hobbies or interests? What do you do in your free time?” and I realized that I did not have any free time, and my hobbies had all taken a back seat to raising the children! I slowly incorporated my hobbies back into my life, even finding ways to get the kids involved with them, and I am a much happier person for it.

3. Just because you are a stay-at-home-mom does not mean you need to stay home! Sitting around the house with your children every day can get very lonely. Get out of the house and meet other moms, or just take your children places where you can interact with others. Since money is often a concern for single income families, look into free options to get yourselves out…the library, the playground, a Mommy’s group, etc.

4. Make time for yourself each day. I know that this sounds impossible with all of your responsibilities, but I’m here to tell you that it is essential to your well being. Schedule “me time” any time of the day that it’s most convenient. Don’t do any housework or homework with the kids…this time is ONLY for you! A half an hour to read a book or exercise will make a world of difference to your mental well being.

5. Connect with other stay-at-home-moms. Find forums and blogs on the internet where you can ask and answer questions and feel a sense of community with like-minded people.

6. Volunteer or find way to give to charity. Although you may not feel like you are contributing financially to the family (even though you are by saving on day care costs), you can still volunteer your time to get the feeling of contribution. Work at a nursing home a few hours a week, serve lunch once a week at a homeless shelter (or make the food at home to donate to the shelter), if you have school aged children then volunteer at their school, mow the lawn for one of your older neighbors…the ideas are endless! Not only does this make you feel great at the end of the day, it is also a great example to your children.

7. Schedule “date night” with your spouse at least once a month. Keeping in touch with your relationship with your husband is so important. You need to go out and be a couple…away from the everyday stresses. Find some other Moms that will trade you hours of babysitting (you watch their kids one Friday night, and they watch your children the next Friday night) to save on the cost of a babysitter.

8. Don’t try to be perfect. I’ve often felt like my house should be sparkling clean, my children should be dirt-free, and all my affairs should be perfectly in order—all because I don’t work outside of the home. The truth is, that is not a reality for any stay-at-home mom. In fact, I think that it is even harder to be organized with your kids at home all day than if they were away at day care! So, don’t sweat it if the laundry piles up for a few days, or the dishes go unwashed until the morning. The housework will always be there, but your children will grow up in a blink of an eye. Spend as much “fun time” as you can with them now.

9. Get a part-time job. After being home for a few years, I really started to feel guilty about not making any money for the family. The good news is, there are several part-time jobs that you can work a stay-at-home mom’s schedule…you, too, can become a WAHM (Work At Home Mom)! Start your own website or blog, watch other people’s children (also a great social tool for your children who are at home), sell children’s clothing or other items on an auction site such as Ebay…the opportunities are out there, you just need to look for them. Where there’s a will, there’s a way!

10. Remind yourself each day how fast your children grow. Visualize them being grown, and how you will feel when they leave the house. This automatically makes you savor every minute that you have with them.

About the author: Tiffany Blom is the publisher of Do It Yourself Gifts , where you can find many inexpensive, creative, homemade gift ideas for any occasion. Her unique site includes free projects, ideas, and instructions for people of all ages. Find your next gift project there!

To learn more, check out the Mom’s Talk eBook’s How to Make Money on eBay.

To learn more, check out the Mom’s Talk Guide to Raising Happy & Healthy Kids – Tips and resources address nutrition, exercise, sleep, routines, and much more.

Filed Under: Stay At Home Moms
« Older Posts
Newer Posts »

Come Get To Know Us :)

We're Very Social!