Parenting

A Kid’s First Cell Phone: A Complete Guide for Mom

December 1, 2011 By Kelly

So you’re thinking about giving your kid their first cell phone and anxiety is rising. We understand that – putting a powerful little technological device into young hands is a big deal.

Don’t worry though, we’ve got some great advice and resources to make it a breeze for your family!

How Young is Too Young for a Cell Phone?

This sure isn’t a question that our parents had to deal with. Our kids are growing up in a world we couldn’t imagine at their age so we’re on our own to make these judgment calls.

I asked some moms on Facebook about this and here’s what I learned:

Imagine getting a cell phone bill in the mail that is over hundreds of dollars and how you would feel. Now imagine you didn’t do your research and you gave your teen a phone and you received a bill for over $20,000. Yes, you read that correctly, over $20,000 for one months worth of cell phone usage. Fortunately, the cell phone company credited their bill for almost all of it, but you want to make sure you don’t end up in this situation with your tween.

I know my parents gave me their cell phone that was practically bigger than our house phone at the time and even without text messaging back in those days, I ran up the bill to well over $100.

Ways Kids Get In Trouble With Cell Phones

Here are just a few ways kids can run into mischief with a cell phone.

Texting or using Facebook in class.
Texting while driving.
Texting while walking. (Even walking can be dangerous when you’re not looking where you’re going!)
Taking & sharing photos they shouldn’t.
Cyber bullying.

Ok, with all that – you have to ask:

Does My Kid Really NEED A Phone Right Now?

Sometimes a child doesn’t need their own phone yet but you’d like them to have one for sleepovers or when they are on trips when they really need to be able to contact you. You could think about getting an extra ‘family phone’ for those situations.

Selecting Your Kid’s First Cell Phone

Every child wants to have the cool phone, but sometimes cool won’t help. Most cool phones are smart phones. Smart phones require you to have a data plan, which means you need a plan that goes online and that is where your money adds up. When looking at phones, think about what you are getting the phone for. Is it for them to talk and text with friends or is it for emergencies only?

If the phones is strictly for emergency use, do not get a phone that would lure them in to downloading applications or music, stick to the basics. If they are an older teen, a touchscreen or a slide-out keyboard would be great phone for them to start with, but make sure you are on the same page when it comes to the phone, what it can access and what you are willing to pay for.

Kid Friendly Phones

flyPhone – A great starter phone for your kid especially if it will only be for emergencies.
A88 – This phone can be used on any network for your kids and it is very user friendly.
Sanyo 2700- A PrePaid phone from Kajeet that would work great for your child if is it a strictly emergency only phone.
LG VX 1000 -A great phone, if you are a Verizon customer.

Another great option is called Kajeet. This is a cell phone company built specifically for kids. They have inexpensive plans starting at $4.99/month and they have some great features such as:

Feature Manager – This manages whether your child can send picture messages or what they can access online
Time Manager – This can black what times they talk, text or use their phone so they are not up all night chatting or texting away
Contact Manager – This controls the people that your child can contact. You can block people who you do not want them to contact as well.
GPS Locator – This can show you where your child is which is phenomenal in emergency situations.

Setting Up Emergency Contact Info

This is probably one of the most important things you should do when you get the new phone – set up a complete ‘who to call’ resource and go over it with your child.

Add yourself as a contact, but don’t just put your name as “Mom and Dad,” add your full name. (ie: Mom: Amy Anderson). This is for others, like the police, to know your name if they have to call you.

Also add family members, friends and neighbors you trust and talk about this with your kids so they know who to call when they can’t reach you.

If your child is on a field trip and if they are traveling without you, make sure they have emergency contact info for the adults they are traveling with. (School teachers, room parents, hotel name and details if applicable.)

A couple of great Apps to help with this:

NearParent – This application helps you put in the names of the people who are safe to pick up your kids when there are emergencies. It allows you to add the people you give permission to pick up your kids(neighbors, aunts, uncles, etc) and their location on the GPS.
ICE – “Also known as In Case of Emergency.” You would put the letters ICE in the phone, so the police will know who to contact. There is a sticker you can get from the ICE website to put on the back of your cell phone and your teen’s cell phone so if something happens the police know to look for the letters ICE in the phone.

Calling Plans Offer Parental Controls – Thankfully!

I remember my parents got their first bill when I had my cell phone and it was over $300. Apparently playing games on my phone wasn’t free like I thought and we (and by we, I mean my parents) found out the hard way.

Make sure you know the controls and overage costs associated with your calling plan. Most big companies offer parental controls for a low monthly rate which would help with keeping costs reasonable.

With Verizon and AT&T, for $4.99/month you can put certain blocks on their phone so they don’t go to inappropriate sites and when they reach their usage maximum, it will automatically stop them from going online. That could save you quite a bit of money or better yet the “I’m sorry I didn’t know” excuse. With Sprint, these controls are free. Check with your provider to see what their costs are and what features they offer or visit these links to learn more about these major provider’s plans:

Check the GPS Settings on Your Child’s Phone

Did you know that when your child sends a picture that the person who receives it has GPS information on your child? Not many people know that, so make sure you are 100% clear about who your child can or cannot talk to or send pictures to. You definitely do not want your child giving their whereabouts to complete strangers. You can also disable this in the phone, contact your service provider and they can help you with the details.

Important Phone Accessories

Want to make sure phones are fully charged every morning and know that your kids aren’t using their phones at night? Have a family charging station and a firm rule about placing their phones on the charger before bedtime.

I don’t know about your kids but most that I know haven’t developed their ‘thinking ahead’ skills as much as their parents would like. You don’t want them out there in the big world with a dead cell phone so make sure kids have an extra charging device in their backpack and know how to use it.

And don’t forget the Bling – here are some fun accessory gift ideas:

Cell Phone Decorations – Bedazzle her phone and let it shine.
T-Shirt Case – What a pretty funky case!
Phone Charms – You can get the initials of your child.

Learning Apps for Kids

Applications are a great way to keep your kids entertained when you need a few minutes of quiet time. They also make some really great apps for learning and development of your little ones and they even have some great homework apps to help your tweens.

Clamp Monkey – Help for younger kids to help them build letters and words.
Long Division – The name does speak for itself, it is a great application to help kids with their long division.
Baby Sign Language – If you have little ones, this will give you a moment to catch your breath. It has over 200 words that it teaches children 1 and up.
Puzzingo – Can’t be without at least one game on your phone. Puzzingo is equivalent to the old-school wooden puzzle games. It is a drag and drop game to help toddlers learn about different items.
myHomework – How many times have you heard your kids saying “I forgot to my homework?” I remember saying that all the time. Finally, an app that is in tween language and helps to keep homework due dates organized.

Useful Apps for Parents

Parenting has gone high tech, here are some great apps to check out:

My Mobile Watchdog – A great program that will help you monitor you child and their location.
Be Smart Wireless – A useful tool for you to get educated before getting a phone for your child.
Mom Maps – When you are on the go and you want to find kid-friendly locations while you are out and about or traveling.
KidStatz LITE – This houses all of your kids information about their height, weight, if they have any birthmarks, tattoos or piercings, etc. It also emails important details to friends, neighbors and police about what they were wearing, where they were last and any other information that could help if something were to happen.

Printable Family Cell Phone Contract

Kids are kids. It’s probably not a matter of ‘if’ they’ll break a rule with their phone – but ‘when’ they’ll do it.

Knowing this in advance gives us a great idea for dealing with those cell phone infractions in a fair manner. We came up with a Family Cell Phone Contract. It lays out the rules for cell phone use and outlines the consequences for breaking any of these rules.

My Phone & Equipment:

_ I will know where my cell phone is at all time.
_ I will tell my parents immediately if I lose my phone.
_ I will keep my extra charger with me at all times.
_ I will keep charge my cell phone every night & be responsible to recharge it during the day.

Using My Phone:

_ I will always answer calls from my parents. If I miss a call, I’ll call back immediately.
_ I know the rules about cell phone use at school and will follow these rules.
_ I will not text and drive.
_ I will not text and walk.
_ I will not download Apps/Music/Videos without my parents approval.
_ I will not take or share/forward inappropriate pictures.
_ I will not text or share/forward inappropriate language.
_ I will not take calls or text while having a conversation with my parents.
_ I will not bring my phone to the dinner table.
_ I will not use my phone before ____ am or after ____ pm daily.
_ I will not send/receive more than ____ texts per month.
_ I will not use more than ____ minutes of call time per month.
_ I will not use more than ____ of data per month.

My Phone and Other People:

_ I will not share my cell phone with others unless there is emergency.
_ I agree to not give my cell phone number to others without my parents permission.
_ I will not take or share pictures or videos of others without their permission.
_ I will not bully or harass others with my phone in any way.
_ I will tell my parents immediately if someone else bullies me over the phone.

The Cell Phone Bill:

_ I agree to pay ____ per month.
_ I agree to be responsible for all extra costs caused by my activities.

Signed: _______________________________________________ Date: ____________________
Signed: _______________________________________________ Date: ____________________
Signed: _______________________________________________ Date: ____________________

Download a printable copy here.

Have them sign their agreement to live by the rules and post a copy on the family bulletin board. This way they’ll have to room to say ‘I didn’t know! or ‘I forgot!” later.

Filed Under: Parenting

Obtaining Early Intervention for a Child with Delays

November 15, 2011 By Kelly

This is a guest post by Cassie Rimes. We appreciate you sharing your advice with us Cassie!

Any mother of a first born can attest to the obsession with recording developmental milestones and charting their baby’s growth. As soon as they start crawling you’re desperate for them to walk! Some mothers make pencil marks on the wall, while others fill in baby books. As the months go by and your baby consistently falls behind, a gnawing worry begins in the pit of your stomach. While it may be hard to accept the fact that your child is delayed, getting the right help is vital to helping them reach their full potential.

Early Intervention

Seventeen percent of toddlers in the United States have behavioral or developmental delays. It is an enormous relief to have professionals working on your child’s case. The first step to acquire this assistance is getting your child enrolled in an Early Intervention program. Programs in different states will have varying policies. Case in point, early intervention in New Jersey works together with private agencies to offer the best care to their young clients.

Catching the delays early on is key.

Don’t listen to others’ comments that you’re being an overprotective mother; you know your child best! If you suspect that something is wrong, call your state office to schedule an evaluation. For young children the state sends therapists to the child’s natural environment, which is in most cases the home.

Correct Diagnosis

It is imperative that your child is correctly diagnosed in order for him or her to receive the right services. If you think that your child was misdiagnosed, speak up and request another evaluation. This can affect your child’s growth for years to come, and many painful and pointless appointments for you. Be aware, however, that in many states there is a mandated time between evaluations. For example, in New Jersey you must wait three months from the time of the first evaluation to have another one performed.

Good Communication

At a young age your child can’t speak for himself, so you must do it for him.

Make sure that you adequately convey your concerns to the early intervention evaluator. Once a plan for therapy is devised, you may be dealing with multiple therapists and educators. It is your job to communicate with all of them so they are all on the page, and your child receives consistent care. Discuss the concerns of one therapist with the others to see whether they are finding the same thing in your child. It is also a good idea to have a trusted pediatrician who you can run everything by.

You will encounter naysayers who condemn today’s therapy-oriented society, and say that the mothers just want free babysitting. While this is true for a small minority, speech therapy, occupational therapy, or any other service that will benefit your child can greatly affect their future.

Cassie Rimes is a mother of a child with delays who knows the importance of early intervention. She recommends Classic Rehab as an excellent resource for NJ early intervention, and other therapeutic needs.

Filed Under: Health & Wellness, Parenting

Eight Ways To Teach Your Children About Money

November 15, 2011 By Kelly

This is a guest post from Jane Atkins. Thanks for contributing Jane!

There are literally hundreds of ways you could decide to teach your children how to handle money. Introducing concepts at an early age will help them understand the importance of saving and making proper financial decisions later in life. When you use some of these simple steps, you can encourage your children to learn about personal finance and prevent them from making financial mistakes in the future.

Start Early

The first thing you should know is that your children will benefit most if you start talking about money early in their lives, and then continue to teach the topic often throughout their childhood. Everyday activities, such as a grocery store run, an ATM stop, paying with your credit card at a restaurant, or even paying your own bills could be used as teaching moments for your children. As soon as they can count, introduce them to coins, and teach them about counting money. Use terms that they will be able to understand at their age, and teach more difficult topics as they grow.

Working for Money

Encourage your children to earn their money by working. Don’t simply hand out an allowance every week without assigning odd household jobs for them to accomplish. Give them the option to babysit, do yard work, or clean the house in order to earn their allowance. This will make them see a connection between the work they do and the money they make. A video game won’t just be $60, but it will also mean mowing the lawn six times.

Wants and Needs

Help your children learn the difference between wants and needs. This will prepare them for tough decisions in the future.

Goal Setting

Teach them about setting goals and how they can reach them. When your child wants you to buy them a new toy, this is a great opportunity to show them how to achieve a goal. Once they are able to get that toy themselves, they will feel much more gratified, and the whole process will help them learn to be responsible.

Saving

All children should learn the benefits of saving. You can start this lesson young, but as your children get older, you can start to talk about earning interest, building credit, and saving
for retirement. Teach them about the hazards of borrowing, and how spending with a credit card could mean paying more in the end with interest. One saying that I like to use is, “There are two types of people in this world: those who earn interest and those who pay interest. Which do you want to be?” My father used that one and it’s stuck with me ever since. 6. Lead by Example – Your children will never learn the proper way to use money if you don’t “practice what you preach.” Explain how to write a check, pay a bill, or why you don’t keep a balance on your credit card. When they see how you handle money, they are much more likely to follow your example.

Give Back

One important part of making money is learning how to give back. Children should learn at a young age that giving to others makes you feel good. Tell them that money isn’t the only important thing they can give, but they can also give their time, their toys, or their cloths to help others. Let them choose a charity they would like to help so that they stay interested in the project.

Allow Them to Make Some Decisions

Whether they make a good decision or a poor decision, they will learn from the experience, and they will know what they can do better for next time.

Jane Atkins is an author who writes guest posts on the topics of business, marketing, credit cards, and personal finance. Additionally, she works for a website that focuses on educating readers about credit cards for no credit.

Filed Under: Money & Finance, Parenting

My Teens Have Fallen Into Facebook Family Drama

October 17, 2011 By Alaina Frederick

Once again, we’re calling on one of our Mom’s Talk Network Expert Moms to help us out with some advice.

This mom has some problems with family drama stemming from her teens being on Facebook:

My teens use Facebook constantly and recently some family drama erupted after they posted about summer outing they held for friends. Two cousins had hurt feelings for not being included. Several comments and a few private messages want back and forth and now they’re not even talking. Now my sister in law is making comments to me on FB about it all and other family members are getting in on the action with their opinions.

Honestly, our kids are friends but not terribly close. The cousins haven’t been included in everything through the years but before they used FB, nobody noticed. What bothers me most right now is that everyone is ganging up on us on Facebook instead of just calling to talk about it.

Lesa Dale, Teen Biz Talk has some advice:

There are two issues here that need to be addressed:

Hurt feeling of children/family members
Public airing of family issues

Hurt feelings

If the children are not in the same social circles, it is natural for them to outgrow each other.

My sister thinks our boys should be closer. They spent a lot of time together when they were little and are only a year apart. But they’ve had two different spheres of social interaction for several years now. I homeschooled and my nephew is in public school. They have grown up with different influences. They have very little in common.

Now that they are in the same environment (mine wanted to play football and had to attend public school to do so and they are at the same school), they still gravitate away from each other. They have separate interest and separate friends.

Your nieces and nephews need to be reminded of these things, and asked if they include your children in everything they do. The same goes for the other adults getting involved.

Public Airing of Family Business

In today’s society everyone puts everything online for the world to see. We tend to forget that places like Facebook are not private. They are VERY PUBLIC.

If you feel you are being unfairly attacked in public and think it should be handled more privately, let your family know that you are not going to address this issue in a public forum. Invite them to call you if they have a problem with the situation and ignore or delete any further mention of the situation. Or take the initiative and call them yourself.

Thanks for giving us some great tips Lesa!

Filed Under: Parenting

Step Family Advice: Stress Over Merging Households?

September 10, 2011 By Kelly

We have asked one of our Mom’s Talk Network Expert Moms to help us give step families some good advice.

Problem: My husband and I have five kids between us and when our households came together two years ago it was a matter of a lot of hard choices. My bed or his bed? (We decided to sell both and buy a new bed.) My kitchen table or his? My decor or his? In some cases we ended up with a mashup and to be honest, our home is overstuffed. Every day I feel the need to simplify and get some empty space back but I’m worried that I’ll be offending him or one of our kids with every item I remove. Do you have any advice?

Carrie Lauth, Natural Moms Talk Radio

Blending a family takes a lot of patience and communication, and I applaud you for being sensitive to the feelings of your husband and children. Your situation is quite similar to mine. I’m also in a blended family, and there are 6 children that live with my husband and me full time.

Here are a few ideas that may help in your situation:

Relax

First of all, take a deep breath and relax. Sometimes we moms tend to worry a bit too much about things that never happen.

Take your husband for example.

It seems to me that most men care little about the decor of the home. It it’s reasonably clean and comfortable, they’re happy! I could probably redecorate and when my husband walked in the door, he would ask me if I got a haircut.

It may be the same story with the kids. They may not be as attached to some of their belongings as you think. In fact, some kids love to declutter – they just don’t know how to go about it without guidance.

If you’re feeling stressed by too much stuff, your family may be feeling the same way.

Talk

When we have a project or decision that affects the family, we like to host a family meeting. (This should probably take place after mom and dad have had some time to discuss the issue as a couple.) It’s not an entirely democratic process, but we do allow the kids to give us their input and sometimes vote on the outcome.

Perhaps you could communicate your vision of an uncluttered, simplified home in a kid focused way. (We will have more room for stuff we really love, more space to play on the floor, chores will be quicker and easier, etc.)

Ask them for ideas. Maybe a family yard sale is in order. The proceeds could go towards one large fun item like a new swingset or a weekend getaway. When it comes to getting cooperation from kids, your attitude and how you frame the message is key.

Most of us have a few items that are precious to us because they are badges of identity, and your husband and kids are no exception. It may be a musical instrument hanging on the wall, a family heirloom, or beloved comfy chair. Find out what these special items are for your family members and proceed accordingly.

Be Practical

There is only so much space in a home. Sometimes making a decision about whose stuff stays and whose stuff goes is a matter of what’s practical. If my sofa is more durable than yours, it stays. If your dining room table is the one big enough for the entire family to gather around, it stays.

Keeping the above principles in mind will help make the transition smooth. Above all, be sure to communicate and never assume. When they sense that their feelings will be heard and respected, your family may very well surprise you with their willingness to negotiate and compromise!

Filed Under: Home, Parenting Tagged With: step families