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Motherhood Lessons: Nobody’s Perfect

January 23, 2012 By

Motherhood Lessons is a regular series of posts we share here on Mom’s Talk Network – every day lessons shared by real moms.

My motherhood experience is extremely limited, and by that I mean I’ve been mothering my son for exactly 506 days. I don’t have years and years of parenting under my belt. I don’t even know what it’s like to suffer through a toddler tantrum in public, to potty train or to send a kid off to school.

For sixteen and a half months we’ve been on this journey together. Figuring things out as we go, figuring each other out as we go. One day, this short amount of time will feel like a blink of an eye, but as I sit and reflect on my experiences as a mom, I am overcome with pride at the very important lesson that motherhood has taught me: nobody’s perfect.

We’re all just kind of winging it, doing the best we can with what we have to ensure that our kids are growing into kind, smart and considerate children. While we’re doing this, we’re also trying desperately to ensure the vitality of our relationships with our significant other, our family and our friends, maintain a quasi-clean and relatively safe home and, for some, hold down a job where our boss definitely cares if we change out of our yoga pants.

Whether we stay-at-home full time, work full time or walk a fine line between the two, we are overcome with mommy guilt that our decision isn’t what’s best for our kids. That we aren’t doing enough, cleaning enough, baking enough, volunteering enough or hugging enough to live up to the standard that those perfect moms are setting.

Here’s the thing: There is no “perfect” when it comes to motherhood.

What worked for me may not work for you and vice-versa. We hear all the time that all pregnancies are different and all babies are different, but what we don’t hear enough of is all moms are different, too, and none of us, not a single one of us have got this thing down pat.

We all have doubts and meltdowns and moments where we feel like we can’t possibly go one more second without a nap, or, at the very least, a tall glass of wine and a girlfriend to vent to.

We all wonder if the well-researched decisions we make with a clear head are going to be the best ones for our babies. We all wonder if there’s any more we can do.

We all make mistakes…and will continue making many, many more before our time as a mom has expired.

Motherhood is a hard, challenging commitment full of self-sacrifice, but the payoff, even after 16-months is indescribable happiness that personifies itself in the eyes of my son. When I hear that sometimes devious but always genuine laugh of his, I could care less if my house is a mess, I forgot (yet again…) to run that errand and that I’m still wearing the same clothes I woke up in.

Let’s all take a deep breath, hug your babies and tell yourself that you’re doing OK.

I am now tagging these creative, insightful moms for them to share their motherhood lessons:

I know you have learned a lot as a mom, so I invite you to participate in the meme and post a ‘Motherhood Lesson’ on your blog.  (Please grab the graphic and link back to this post!) When you do, please tag three more moms that you’d like to see share a lesson too.

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With:

A Top 10 List of Things Every ‘Dream’ Bathroom Needs

January 23, 2012 By

Maybe it’s the Winter Blahs but I am finding myself dreaming about luxury, warmth and comfort in my bathroom. While I don’t have most of these dreamy amenities listed below, I sure would love to have them!

If you could add even just one lavish thing to your bathroom, what would it be?

  1. Disposable Toilet Brush. I am probably going to environmental hell for this one but consider this: I spent at least a few decades using stinky bacteria filled traditional toilet brushes so I’ve done my time. Now I have two more than curious rug rats and far less time and energy so I’m going with these dreamy disposable toilet swishers. I know it creates waste but it also creates sanity…and a fresh bowl!
  1. Crystal Chandelier– OK this is an indulgence and probably something you don’t really NEED in your bathroom. But wouldn’t it be nice? I can’t think of a better place for a chandelier, especially one that you could gaze at from your bubble bath filled tub as you soak your day away…

 

  1. Natural Light is a real plus for a bathroom. There are too many pluses to mention but the three top reasons are: A. Natural light usually means an operable window which is key for foggy mirrors and air exchange. B. Makeup application is always better with some natural light. This saves the embarrassing ‘too much foundation’ routine. C. Natural light is a mood lifter and bathrooms should be all about that. If you don’t have any natural light in your bathroom, consider installing a skylight or a sky tube!
  1. Great Scented Candle. If you buy the right one, you won’t even have to light it on a regular basis to keep your bathroom swelling sweet. I chose a beautiful Vanilla scent for mine. Citrus scents tend to cut smells and tree scents are also stink-busting favorites. Whatever scent you chose, just make sure you indulge in a high quality candle made with true essential oils. These will last longer.
  1. Extra Storage for TP, Towels and Toiletries. In my mind you can NEVER have enough storage, especially in the bathroom! It would be best if your unit also had room for a hidden laundry bin… or better yet, laundry bins built in like this one from Bed Bath and Beyond. There is nothing that gets in the way of a zen bathroom experience more than visible clutter, crusty old razors and dirty towels…
  1. Big Fluffy Towels of course! According to Good Housekeeping these particular towels from Macy’s are the best. I can’t speak for these towels but I can speak from experience and in my mind there is nothing better than stepping out of the shower or bath into a large luxurious bath sheet that literally drinks up the moisture. Combine the fluffy towels with #7 and you are one step closer to bathroom bliss!
  1. Heated Towel Warmer I love this one from Brookstone because unlike the traditional hanging towel warmer, this one is big enough for two towels just in case you were up to no good in the shower or bath. Plus you can opt for warming your robe instead of a towel, if that’s your thing.
  1. Wall Mounted Magazine Basket or Rack This one is a must if you like to sit and read. Speaking from experience, opt for a wall mounted rack or basket or at the very least keep it off the floor. We lost some of our favorite reading material and a very nice basket to one toilet back up …Yes, EEEwwwww.
  1. Super Absorbent Bath Mat. This goes along with the big fluffy towel theme. Nothing worse than sop, sop, sopping your way across a bathroom floor. I like mats that really soak up the first step. This one from Brylane Home claims super absorbency.
  1. Heated Floors or otherwise called Radiant Heating. If you can spring for it, DO! This is not only the best thing on your toes in the cold months but it helps to dry up the moisture that is typically left behind on a bathroom floor, extending the life of your tile.

Now that’s my Top 10 list! What’s yours?

Photo Credit:  apartmenttherapy.com via Shiwani

 

Filed Under: Home

Top 10 List of Things Every Junk Drawer Needs

January 23, 2012 By

I don’t know about you, but I love my junk drawer.

I actually have a couple of them. I have one in my bedroom that tends to collect pictures from the kids, hair ties and loose photographs; one in the bathroom that is full of random nail polishes, hair clips, and guards for Jays beard trimmer; and the main “junk drawer” in the kitchen that has a little bit of everything in it.

While the beauty in a spot like this is that this can be the home for anything you don’t have a real place for. However, there are a few essentials that should be found in you main, or in this case kitchen, junk drawer.

Must Have Junk Drawer Items:

  1. 2 Pairs of Scissors: This is a MUST have! Why two pairs instead of just one? Well, if your house is anything like mine, there is always one lost pair. Jay has a tendency to walk of with the scissors — he brings them to the car, to work, onto the porch, or puts them “away” in unknown places. Having a second pair saves me a lot of stress and time looking for the first pair!
  2. Take out Menus: I always stash a copy of my favorite take out menus in my junk drawer. That way, I always know where they are, and it keeps them off of the counter and out of my bedroom.
  3. Small Notepad: I like to have a small notepad in my junk drawer. Paper is pretty hard to come by in my house – my kids are always snatching it to color and create with – so I like to keep a few small notepads in the kitchen to jot quick notes, shopping lists, and more.
  4. Pen (and pencil and sharpie) Stash: Pens are so easily lost in my house. The kids love them and tend to stash them away for future use. I always make sure I have a few pens, one pencil and a sharpie in the junk drawer.
  5. Travel Sewing Kit: This is probably the most used item in my junk drawer, so I always make sure to replace it when the string runs out. Travel sewing kits are pretty cheap to purchase and really get a lot of use. While there are different size kits available, I prefer a very basic one that just has a variety of string colors, a needle, a couple straight pins, a couple safety pins, and a few other sewing odds and ends. I tend to use the safety pins and needle and thread most, but I have also used the straight pins anytime I get a sliver.
  6. Lighter: It drives me crazy when I want to light a candle and I cannot find some matches or a lighter. I try to always keep one in the drawer – either a small one or one of the larger “grill” lighters.
  7. Tools: Every junk drawer needs a set of screwdrivers and a small hammer in it. I have both a phillips head and a slotted screwdriver, but I would love to get an all-in-one screwdriver with adjustable heads. I also keep a small hammer in there. I can’t tell you how many times these tools have come to the rescue!
  8. Flashlight: My kids love to take the flashlight and play with them. I have a small one that they don’t know about tucked in the back of the junk drawer for emergencies.
  9. Tape: A roll of scotch tape is a MUST in my kitchen. For some reason, there is always something that needs to be taped: pictures to be hung up, envelopes that didn’t seal right, or a special drawing that got ripped and needs to be fixed.
  10. Birthday Candles: I always have a package of birthday candles in the drawer. I can’t tell you how many times we have had to run out last minute because we didn’t have candles for someones cake. It got old, very fast. Now I keep a full pack in there just in case we forget.

Bonus Item: There is one other item that I like to keep in my junk drawer - a rubber dish washing glove. I know, it is kind of random, and a little bit weird, but I find that they are super helpful in the kitchen. I mainly use them for opening glass jars – it can be so hard to get a good grip on those lids and using a rubber glove really does make it tons easier!

What do you think some must haves items are for your junk drawer? Do you have these items in your junk drawer?

Filed Under: Home

How To Keep My Four Year Old From Hurting The Family Dog

January 20, 2012 By

We got a great question from a reader and we asked Mom’s Talk Network Expert Mom Crystal Gibson of Fur Kid Fosters for some advice.

I’ve caught my four year old boy hurting our dog several times over the last few weeks and I’m getting concerned. She’s three year old medium size spaniel mix that we adopted just before the holidays and she’s very sweet and patient with him. First he was trying to ‘ride’ her and we explained that we don’t ride dogs and he was probably hurting her why trying. Then I caught him pulling on her whiskers and another time he was poking at her roughly with a toy.

Each time I’ve explained that he’s hurting her but that doesn’t seem to phase him. Do you have any advice for me? How can I get through to him that she feels pain and might ‘have enough’ and bite him – without making him afraid of her?

Crystal’s response:

Great question and it’s one we hear often.Kids just don’t understand that dogs feel pain and have emotions.

My advice would be to keep doing what you’re doing. Keep a close eye on the situation and maybe add in a time out for your son. Explain to him that he can not do things that hurt the dog or he could get bitten. Tell him that the dog will not want to be his friend anymore if he keeps hurting her.

Keep everything on a four year old level and repeat, repeat, repeat.At his age, that’s the only way your son will “get it.”

Some children require a nip from an agitated dog before it all sinks in. My daughter did! She loved to get in the face of our Boston terrier, Bossy. Bossy takes a lot but when she’s done, she’s done. My daughter got a nip on the nose and that was all she wrote, lesson learned.

I hope it doesn’t take that, for your son. But rest assured, repetition and maybe a slight punishment will do wonders. You’re on the right track and I applaud your methods.

Filed Under: Parenting

Motherhood Lessons: Children are Like Snowflakes

January 18, 2012 By

Motherhood Lessons is a regular series of posts we share here on Mom’s Talk Network – every day lessons shared by real moms. 

Yes, I believe that Children are like snowflakes… each one of a kind, no two alike.

Having raised 10 children, I have learned that “one size fits all” is a fallacy –  both in clothing and in rearing kids. If you insist on embracing this approach,  you’ll probably become frustrated and disappointed with the outcome, and I can guarantee that your children will.

Yes, Some Rules Are For Everyone.

Every household needs rules, and consequences, but to expect each child to fit into the same mold, is like expecting every apple on the tree to be exactly the same color, shape, size and weight… and to become ripe at the same time.  It just doesn’t happen that way, folks.  It’s so much more advantageous, to set standards that your children can attain, than to expect unrealistic goals.

Different Things Work With Different Kids.

With some of my children, I never needed to raise my voice to make a point.  With others, I practically had to jump up and down in front of them while waving a red flag, and bellowing through a megaphone. Some were avid readers, while a few would rather have their teeth pulled, than pick up a book.  All where musically inclined, but they each followed a “different drummer” so to speak, and chose a myriad of instruments to play. A few excelled in their musical pursuits, some were exceptionable students, and several were quite artsy.

Do you have a stubborn child?  Be grateful.  He will probably be able to withstand peer pressure.  Is your darling little one a little too sensitive?   Fantastic. She will more than likely be kind and compassionate adult.  What about the child who struggles with academics, and can’t sit still?  Or the child who never wants to pull their head out of a book?  Each has a place, and a path to follow, and chances are, that if you look for the silver lining… you’ll find gold in them thar hills.

I am now tagging these moms to invite them to post their own Motherhood Lesson.  (I know you have learned a lot as a mom, so I invite you to participate in the meme and post a ‘Motherhood Lesson’ on your blog.  (Please grab the graphic and link back to this post!) When you do, please tag three more moms that you’d like to see share a lesson too.)

Filed Under: Parenting
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